1
00:00:03,667 --> 00:00:07,133
 Hey, Yvonne, baby.
 I know I haven't called
 you in a while, yeah.

2
00:00:08,100 --> 00:00:10,167
 Aww, I missed you, too.

3
00:00:10,234 --> 00:00:13,234
  But you know how
  crazy things get when
  you're at work. Yeah.

4
00:00:13,300 --> 00:00:15,000
(CHUCKLES)

5
00:00:15,067 --> 00:00:18,534
   Sure, yeah, uh,
   it's Visa, 4-1-0-1...

6
00:00:19,534 --> 00:00:20,901
 Hey, Dennis.

7
00:00:20,968 --> 00:00:24,834
 Call you back.
 Hey, what are
 you doing?

8
00:00:24,901 --> 00:00:28,701
  You know that
  "Executive of the Year"
  banquet I went to last night?

9
00:00:28,767 --> 00:00:30,501
Yeah.
 Well, the guy
 they were honoring

10
00:00:30,567 --> 00:00:32,200
said the secret
to his success

11
00:00:32,267 --> 00:00:35,567
  was not having
  his own private office.

12
00:00:35,634 --> 00:00:37,801
 That's what shot me
 to the top.

13
00:00:37,868 --> 00:00:40,901
   I'm serious. This guy
   increased productivity

14
00:00:40,968 --> 00:00:45,033
  simply by moving
  his desk out with all
  the other workers.

15
00:00:45,100 --> 00:00:47,234
 Plus, this way I can
 catch the pervert

16
00:00:47,300 --> 00:00:50,367
   who's been making
   sex calls on our
   company credit card.

17
00:00:52,834 --> 00:00:57,267
  Between you and me,
  I'd keep my eye on the
  big gal in shipping.

18
00:00:57,334 --> 00:01:01,200
Dad, I need to speak
to you about the
Matt Bentley interview.

19
00:01:01,267 --> 00:01:03,868
 Oh, sure,
 step into my office.

20
00:01:10,601 --> 00:01:14,300
   Okay, I'm gonna need
   about two extra pages.

21
00:01:14,367 --> 00:01:15,434
 Oh, yeah. Why is that?

22
00:01:15,501 --> 00:01:17,234
  Oh, there's so
  much to cover.

23
00:01:17,300 --> 00:01:20,000
 Former basketball player
 turned senator.

24
00:01:20,067 --> 00:01:23,701
 Congressional Medal of Honor.
 Plus, they say he might
 be running for President.

25
00:01:23,767 --> 00:01:26,367
   President, huh?
   I can see that.

26
00:01:26,434 --> 00:01:29,000
 Bentley's sharp,
 lots of integrity.

27
00:01:29,067 --> 00:01:31,701
 Of course, he played
 for the Celtics,
 so I wish him dead.

28
00:01:31,767 --> 00:01:38,968
   Oh, Dad, don't say that.
   He's so compassionate
   and tall.

29
00:01:39,033 --> 00:01:43,234
 Maya, you don't have
 a crush on this guy,
 Bentley, do you?

30
00:01:43,300 --> 00:01:45,767
   No, I just think
   it would be great
   to work for someone

31
00:01:45,834 --> 00:01:49,133
  who's smart and
  has good ideas,
  you know what I mean?

32
00:01:49,934 --> 00:01:52,400
I'm afraid I do.

33
00:01:52,467 --> 00:01:56,133
   Good news, everyone.
   I just got off the phone
   with my old TV agent.

34
00:01:56,200 --> 00:02:00,601
 Let me guess.
 He wants to book you on
  When Plastic Surgeons Attack.

35
00:02:03,267 --> 00:02:05,234
Hello, Finch.
Don't get up.

36
00:02:07,734 --> 00:02:09,634
He wants me to audition
for a commercial.

37
00:02:09,701 --> 00:02:11,701
 Oh, that's terrific.
  Oh, that's great.
  What's it for?

38
00:02:11,767 --> 00:02:13,167
 Simple Time Stuffing.

39
00:02:13,234 --> 00:02:14,767
  The character is
  a homemaker.

40
00:02:14,834 --> 00:02:17,968
Oh, that's too bad.
 I'm sorry.
 There'll be other ones.

41
00:02:18,033 --> 00:02:20,267
 Come on,
 have a little faith
 in the girl.

42
00:02:20,334 --> 00:02:21,734
 Nina can play that part.

43
00:02:21,801 --> 00:02:22,834
 Well, thank you, Jack.

44
00:02:22,901 --> 00:02:25,334
 I totally buy you
 as a home wrecker.

45
00:02:27,534 --> 00:02:28,801
  Homemaker.

46
00:02:28,868 --> 00:02:30,634
   Oh, you're no good for that.

47
00:02:52,334 --> 00:02:56,000
 Hey, don't sound so surprised.
 Of course profits are up.

48
00:02:56,067 --> 00:03:00,501
   After all, we've got
   the best damn staff
   on the planet!

49
00:03:00,567 --> 00:03:02,567
   Every once in a while
   you gotta tell them
   things like that.

50
00:03:02,634 --> 00:03:04,501
   They're like children.

51
00:03:06,133 --> 00:03:07,968
Talk to you later.

52
00:03:08,033 --> 00:03:10,734
 Hey, Jack, Allie called.
 That thing at the grocery
 store is all taken care of.

53
00:03:10,801 --> 00:03:11,834
 Oh, good.

54
00:03:11,901 --> 00:03:13,400
 What happened?

55
00:03:13,467 --> 00:03:16,734
 Yesterday, Hannah
 stole a candy bar
 from a grocery store,

56
00:03:16,801 --> 00:03:20,000
  so Allie took her back to
  return it and apologize.

57
00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:21,734
 You know what?
 It's just a phase.

58
00:03:21,801 --> 00:03:24,033
 When I was 12,
 my dad caught me stealing,

59
00:03:24,100 --> 00:03:25,467
grounded me for
the whole summer.

60
00:03:25,534 --> 00:03:26,767
   What'd you steal?

61
00:03:26,834 --> 00:03:29,667
  $18,000 in deutsche marks.

62
00:03:29,734 --> 00:03:33,367
 Hacked into
 Munich First National,
 moved some funds around.

63
00:03:33,434 --> 00:03:35,100
 You know, kid stuff.

64
00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:38,267
 When I was a kid,
 I stole a doll.

65
00:03:38,334 --> 00:03:42,767
 (CHUCKLES) I knew you
 played with dolls.
 What was it? Barbie doll?

66
00:03:44,734 --> 00:03:46,400
 It was a
 Six Million Dollar Man.

67
00:03:46,467 --> 00:03:49,167
 Ooh, with the bionic grip?

68
00:03:49,234 --> 00:03:50,968
I crammed it in
my trumpet case.

69
00:03:51,033 --> 00:03:52,934
 But when I got home,
 I felt so guilty

70
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,901
   I hid it in my basement.

71
00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:56,801
  I could never watch
  the show after that.

72
00:03:56,868 --> 00:04:00,300
  I stopped watching when
  they gave bionics to the dog.

73
00:04:00,367 --> 00:04:03,901
  You spend six million bucks
  on an animal, it should talk.

74
00:04:06,067 --> 00:04:12,167
So, was it seriously
the regular Steve Austin or
the one with bionic grip?

75
00:04:12,234 --> 00:04:16,434
   The grip one, I guess.
   I'm not sure.
   I was so ashamed,

76
00:04:16,501 --> 00:04:18,100
  I didn't even take it
  out of the box.

77
00:04:18,167 --> 00:04:19,701
  (GASPS)

78
00:04:19,767 --> 00:04:22,701
 You still have it?
 Unopened in the
 original box?

79
00:04:22,767 --> 00:04:25,434
 Yeah, I suppose so.

80
00:04:25,501 --> 00:04:29,367
 It's a mint condition,
 vintage action figure.

81
00:04:29,434 --> 00:04:32,133
  Do you ever stop to think
  what a collector's item
  that is?

82
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:34,934
 No, actually,
 I was too busy dating women.

83
00:04:36,367 --> 00:04:39,968
Hello, boys.
Who's hungry for
a big bowl of stuffin'?

84
00:04:41,501 --> 00:04:43,634
 Nina, there's nothing
 in that bowl.

85
00:04:43,701 --> 00:04:46,501
 And by bowl,
 he means head.

86
00:04:46,567 --> 00:04:50,634
I have my audition in an
hour and I thought I should
just stay in character.

87
00:04:50,701 --> 00:04:53,834
Listen.
"Simple Times Stuffin'.

88
00:04:53,901 --> 00:04:56,968
  "The easy way to
  spice up your next lynchin'."

89
00:05:00,367 --> 00:05:02,234
The word is "luncheon."

90
00:05:02,300 --> 00:05:06,067
   Oh! Oh, good. That
   makes my character
   a lot more likeable.

91
00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:11,868
 Well, and if I ever
 do run for President,

92
00:05:11,934 --> 00:05:14,701
  I would want to give
  tax credits to those
  single mothers,

93
00:05:14,767 --> 00:05:17,968
   so that they could
   get off of welfare and
   out into the work force.

94
00:05:18,033 --> 00:05:19,701
 Don't you think?

95
00:05:19,767 --> 00:05:21,501
   Are you
   seeing someone?

96
00:05:21,567 --> 00:05:23,167
 What?

97
00:05:23,234 --> 00:05:26,367
Uh, they just make me
ask these silly things.

98
00:05:26,434 --> 00:05:29,534
   (STAMMERING) Well, no.
   Actually, I'm not.

99
00:05:29,601 --> 00:05:31,133
   Glad we got that
   out of the way.

100
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:32,601
  (PHONE RINGS)

101
00:05:32,667 --> 00:05:34,734
 Maya Bentley.
 Uh, Gallo.

102
00:05:34,801 --> 00:05:38,567
I mean, I'm with
Senator Bentley
and I'll call you back.

103
00:05:39,634 --> 00:05:41,167
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

104
00:05:42,334 --> 00:05:44,200
  Anyway, um...
 Yes.

105
00:05:44,267 --> 00:05:46,501
The polls show that much of
your appeal is in the way

106
00:05:46,567 --> 00:05:49,234
   you come off as an actual
   person and not a politician.

107
00:05:49,300 --> 00:05:53,100
 Well, I'm glad. People are
 so turned off by politicians.

108
00:05:53,167 --> 00:05:57,300
  I think all the bickering
  between the parties,
  the personal attacks...

109
00:05:57,367 --> 00:06:00,667
Yeah, I mean, who cares
if someone smoked
a joint in college?

110
00:06:00,734 --> 00:06:05,968
Well, actually, I don't
think that drug use is
anything to make light of.

111
00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:08,000
   Oh, of course not.
   But there's a big difference

112
00:06:08,067 --> 00:06:10,701
  between hardcore drug use
  and experimentation.

113
00:06:10,767 --> 00:06:12,667
  I mean,
  in college even I once...

114
00:06:12,734 --> 00:06:17,667
 Maya, your future is nothing
 to "experiment" with.

115
00:06:17,734 --> 00:06:20,100
  Well, I'm not sure
  I even felt anything.

116
00:06:21,567 --> 00:06:23,534
 I mean, I didn't even want to.
 My stupid roommate...

117
00:06:23,601 --> 00:06:24,634
 (KNOCK ON DOOR)

118
00:06:24,701 --> 00:06:26,133
 Come in, please.

119
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:29,868
 Maya, honey,
 be a rosebush
 and whip up some copy for...

120
00:06:29,934 --> 00:06:33,834
 Oh, excuse me.
 You have a gentleman caller.

121
00:06:36,300 --> 00:06:37,734
  Matt Bentley.

122
00:06:37,801 --> 00:06:41,801
 Oh, charmed.
 Nina Van Horn.
 Of the Oaksville Van Horns.

123
00:06:41,868 --> 00:06:43,667
 So, what are we
 talking about?

124
00:06:43,734 --> 00:06:45,834
  The danger
  of marijuana.

125
00:06:45,901 --> 00:06:48,667
 Oh, well, I may come
 from simple times,

126
00:06:48,734 --> 00:06:52,534
 but I believe the
 only thing you should
 smoke is a turkey,

127
00:06:52,601 --> 00:06:56,133
 preferably served with
 a side dish of moist,
 fluffy stuffing.

128
00:06:58,300 --> 00:06:59,868
  Nina,
  now is not the time.

129
00:06:59,934 --> 00:07:03,400
 You know, Maya,
 you could learn
 something from her.

130
00:07:05,334 --> 00:07:09,033
   This is a woman who
   gets high off a drug
   called America.

131
00:07:10,667 --> 00:07:13,667
 Well, I do like my reds,
 whites and blues.

132
00:07:24,767 --> 00:07:26,133
 Watch your head.

133
00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:27,734
 What'd you say?

134
00:07:30,968 --> 00:07:32,400
  Never mind.

135
00:07:32,467 --> 00:07:33,734
 Man, I can't
 thank you enough.

136
00:07:33,801 --> 00:07:34,834
  (GASPS)

137
00:07:34,901 --> 00:07:37,901
 Look, look,
 it's my old sled.

138
00:07:37,968 --> 00:07:39,701
  I broke my leg
  on this thing.

139
00:07:39,767 --> 00:07:40,801
   (GASPS)

140
00:07:40,868 --> 00:07:42,334
   Oh, and my ant farm.

141
00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:46,067
  Oh, look!
  My first-grade class picture.

142
00:07:46,734 --> 00:07:49,234
Guess which one was me.

143
00:07:49,300 --> 00:07:51,501
 God, didn't you
 ever have hair?

144
00:07:53,067 --> 00:07:54,767
 Come on. We've got
 to find this thing.

145
00:07:54,834 --> 00:07:58,100
 I got an hour, max,
 before Jack kicks the
 boots in the bathroom stall

146
00:07:58,167 --> 00:08:00,300
  and realizes
  I ain't in them.

147
00:08:01,601 --> 00:08:03,067
   Jackpot!

148
00:08:03,133 --> 00:08:04,400
  Colonel Steve Austin!

149
00:08:04,467 --> 00:08:06,200
  No, my old  Playboys.

150
00:08:06,267 --> 00:08:10,033
 Dude, how many times
 I gotta tell you?
 We got to keep fo...

151
00:08:10,100 --> 00:08:13,701
 Well, well.
 Mrs. Jimmy Connors,
 we meet again.

152
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,367
 No! Let's keep going.
 Where is it?

153
00:08:18,434 --> 00:08:20,801
Don't worry.
I know where it is.

154
00:08:21,868 --> 00:08:24,334
 I hid it behind
 this cinder block.

155
00:08:28,067 --> 00:08:30,501
  It's stuck.
  We need a crowbar
  or something.

156
00:08:30,567 --> 00:08:31,801
   No time!

157
00:08:42,968 --> 00:08:44,367
Yes!

158
00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:52,267
   Oh.

159
00:08:53,501 --> 00:08:55,100
It's beautiful.

160
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,067
 Telephoto eye,

161
00:08:58,133 --> 00:09:01,167
 flawless stitching
 on the jogging suit.

162
00:09:01,234 --> 00:09:03,033
 Have you ever seen
 anything so magnificent?

163
00:09:03,100 --> 00:09:04,634
 Yeah, I guess.

164
00:09:04,701 --> 00:09:09,400
 I haven't seen a
 specimen this perfect
 since Sci-Fi Expo '87.

165
00:09:10,667 --> 00:09:13,033
 It's weird.
 I feel kind of guilty.

166
00:09:13,100 --> 00:09:16,234
 Yeah, walk it off.

167
00:09:16,300 --> 00:09:19,801
 It's just that my mother
 always said, "Bad things
 happen to people who steal."

168
00:09:19,868 --> 00:09:21,534
Yeah, well,
my mom always said,

169
00:09:21,601 --> 00:09:24,133
  "Finish college
  or you'll wind up
  with a dead-end job."

170
00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:25,968
 (CHUCKLING) "Dead-end job."

171
00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:28,434
  Jack said I can
  be his assistant forever!

172
00:09:31,300 --> 00:09:33,467
   Yeah, it was
   a long time ago.

173
00:09:33,534 --> 00:09:35,701
 I'm sure everything
 will be all right.

174
00:09:37,868 --> 00:09:38,934
  Ow!

175
00:09:46,234 --> 00:09:48,267
Oh, my God,
this is whiskey!

176
00:09:48,334 --> 00:09:50,601
 Oh, my God,
 this is coffee!

177
00:09:54,467 --> 00:09:56,534
 I gather your audition
 didn't go too well.

178
00:09:56,601 --> 00:09:58,400
  To say the least.

179
00:09:58,467 --> 00:10:03,567
 The director said the kiss
 I gave my 18-year-old son
 wasn't motherly enough.

180
00:10:03,634 --> 00:10:07,567
  And, by the way, if you don't
  have any plans tonight,
  I'm going to a kegger.

181
00:10:09,467 --> 00:10:10,667
  Maya.

182
00:10:10,734 --> 00:10:13,133
   Hi, what are you
   doing here?

183
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,501
 Did I leave my umbrella
 in your office?

184
00:10:15,567 --> 00:10:17,534
 Oh, yeah. I left it
 with the receptionist.

185
00:10:17,601 --> 00:10:20,334
 Hi, Jack Gallo.
 I'm a big fan.

186
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,067
 Oh. Well,
 thank you.

187
00:10:22,133 --> 00:10:24,334
   Hey, could you
   pass me the napkin?

188
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:26,834
   Oh, that's right,
   you don't pass.

189
00:10:29,567 --> 00:10:32,934
 You know, actually,
 I led the league in
 assists for six seasons.

190
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,267
Oh.

191
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:36,267
   Hey, could you
   shoot me some butter?

192
00:10:36,334 --> 00:10:38,300
Oh, that's right...
  Dad.

193
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:41,968
  Sorry about that.
   That's all right.

194
00:10:42,033 --> 00:10:44,667
 I get that from Knicks'
 fans all the time.

195
00:10:44,734 --> 00:10:47,167
   Although, it's usually
   a little more clever.

196
00:10:48,701 --> 00:10:52,234
 Listen, I didn't come here
 just to pick up my umbrella.

197
00:10:52,300 --> 00:10:55,634
 You didn't? Then why
 did you come up here?

198
00:10:56,367 --> 00:10:58,601
  Oh, what the fudge.

199
00:10:58,667 --> 00:11:03,901
 Ms. Van Horn, would you
 allow me the privilege
 of taking you to dinner?

200
00:11:04,667 --> 00:11:05,934
Really?

201
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:09,968
 Yeah, I just felt that
 we were on the same wavelength

202
00:11:10,033 --> 00:11:13,734
  and, well, heck,
  I've always been a sucker
  for a Southern belle.

203
00:11:17,100 --> 00:11:20,968
   Well, fluff me with a fork
   and season me to taste. Yes.

204
00:11:21,567 --> 00:11:22,934
But...

205
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:26,234
 Maya, now,
 isn't it a little early
 to be drinking?

206
00:11:26,300 --> 00:11:28,267
 I pray for her
 every day.

207
00:11:39,868 --> 00:11:42,567
 Yeah, I took the
 morning off and
 played 18 holes.

208
00:11:42,634 --> 00:11:45,767
   Sometimes you just
   have to treat yourself.

209
00:11:45,834 --> 00:11:50,067
   Hey, Spancer, that's
   your eighth soda.
   I'm not paying you to pee!

210
00:11:52,901 --> 00:11:55,234
Thank you, Matthew,
for a most
enjoyable lunch.

211
00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:58,234
Oh, well, thank you
for a wonderful week.

212
00:11:58,300 --> 00:11:59,801
  So, I'll see you tonight?

213
00:11:59,868 --> 00:12:02,067
Well, I must admit that
I'm a little nervous

214
00:12:02,133 --> 00:12:04,601
 about meeting
 your political supporters.

215
00:12:04,667 --> 00:12:08,067
  I just hope that none of them
  are those wild businessmen
  who come to New York

216
00:12:08,133 --> 00:12:12,901
   and drink late at bars and
   sleep with those loose women
   in the fashion industry.

217
00:12:12,968 --> 00:12:16,200
   Well, no.
   None of them.

218
00:12:16,267 --> 00:12:18,767
   Then I'm in.

219
00:12:18,834 --> 00:12:22,100
 Here's the book I was
 telling you about. You won't
 be able to put it down.

220
00:12:22,167 --> 00:12:24,601
 The characters
 are so real.

221
00:12:24,667 --> 00:12:27,234
And I gotta tell you.
I just love the heroine.

222
00:12:27,300 --> 00:12:29,901
   In 10 minutes
   I was completely hooked.

223
00:12:32,167 --> 00:12:33,868
 Oh, hi.

224
00:12:33,934 --> 00:12:36,467
 Heroin, Maya?
 What?

225
00:12:36,534 --> 00:12:40,801
 Nina wants to help you, Maya.
 Let her.

226
00:12:40,868 --> 00:12:44,033
   Wait a minute.
   What do you think of me?
   I'm like a Girl Scout.

227
00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:49,801
Did you tell him
that I do drugs?

228
00:12:49,868 --> 00:12:51,734
  Well, not on purpose.

229
00:12:51,801 --> 00:12:53,400
 What does that mean?

230
00:12:53,467 --> 00:12:55,968
Well, at dinner
I was telling this
fascinating story

231
00:12:56,033 --> 00:12:57,834
  about a customs check
  in Thailand,

232
00:12:57,901 --> 00:12:59,634
  and then I realized
  that it was about me.

233
00:12:59,701 --> 00:13:02,234
  So, thinking quickly,
  I made it about you.

234
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:04,100
 You didn't.

235
00:13:04,167 --> 00:13:05,467
  Well, Maya, I panicked.

236
00:13:05,534 --> 00:13:07,033
You know, and, well,
drug use aside,

237
00:13:07,100 --> 00:13:09,467
there was no way
he was gonna date you.

238
00:13:09,534 --> 00:13:13,567
   Why not?
 Well, because of your drinking
 and bizarre sexual habits.

239
00:13:13,634 --> 00:13:17,167
  What? I don't want
  this man thinking I'm
  a crazy freak in bed.

240
00:13:17,234 --> 00:13:20,534
 Well, then sleep with him.
 That'll teach him a lesson.

241
00:13:22,300 --> 00:13:23,934
   Is that what you do all day?

242
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:25,801
 Make wise-ass comments?

243
00:13:25,868 --> 00:13:28,033
   No. I answer
   the phone funny.

244
00:13:32,801 --> 00:13:33,934
 Hey, where are you
 going with that?

245
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,734
Back to the
toy store.

246
00:13:35,801 --> 00:13:37,300
   What are you
   talking about?

247
00:13:37,367 --> 00:13:41,300
 In the past three days,
 I bumped my head,
 I cut my finger,

248
00:13:41,367 --> 00:13:45,200
I stubbed my toe and
I ate the plastic around
a piece of cheese.

249
00:13:45,267 --> 00:13:46,534
 Call it guilt.

250
00:13:46,601 --> 00:13:48,767
  Call it bad karma.
  Call it whatever you want!

251
00:13:48,834 --> 00:13:50,634
I'm taking this
back to the store.

252
00:13:50,701 --> 00:13:52,267
 Come on. Do you
 know how much that
 thing is worth?

253
00:13:52,334 --> 00:13:53,467
   I don't care.

254
00:13:53,534 --> 00:13:54,767
 Why are you gonna
 take it back to the store?

255
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,133
  What are they gonna
  do with it anyway?

256
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:57,901
All they care about
are those stupid
Spice Girls dolls,

257
00:13:57,968 --> 00:14:00,667
   which you can't
   even run a
   comb through.

258
00:14:00,734 --> 00:14:02,067
  Come on!
 No.

259
00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:03,300
   Come on.
 No.

260
00:14:03,367 --> 00:14:04,367
  Come on?
   No.

261
00:14:09,167 --> 00:14:11,634
NINA: Anybody home?
Fiddle-dee-dee?

262
00:14:11,701 --> 00:14:13,234
In the kitchen.

263
00:14:14,601 --> 00:14:18,934
 Theresa,  no te preocupes.
  Bueno.

264
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:20,567
   Sorry I'm late,
   cotton ball.

265
00:14:20,634 --> 00:14:24,534
But you know how
that pastor tends
to go on and on.

266
00:14:24,601 --> 00:14:26,834
  What's wrong,
  sugarplum?

267
00:14:26,901 --> 00:14:28,400
  Tonight's a
  complete disaster.

268
00:14:28,467 --> 00:14:30,567
 I just had to let
 my housekeeper go.

269
00:14:30,634 --> 00:14:32,868
Darn it to heck!

270
00:14:32,934 --> 00:14:37,300
 One of the most
 important dinners
 of my career and...

271
00:14:37,367 --> 00:14:40,300
 Hey, didn't you say
 you were a gourmet cook?

272
00:14:41,501 --> 00:14:43,467
 I may have.
 I say a lot of things.

273
00:14:43,534 --> 00:14:46,767
 Oh, Nina.
 Nina, you have to help.
 Now, I wouldn't ask,

274
00:14:46,834 --> 00:14:50,567
   but, gall darn it,
   I'm in a pickle.

275
00:14:50,634 --> 00:14:53,100
  I can relate.

276
00:14:53,167 --> 00:14:56,300
  Oh, thank you.
  You are saving
  my political fanny.

277
00:14:56,367 --> 00:14:58,834
   Okay,
   where do we start?

278
00:14:58,901 --> 00:15:01,767
  Oh, I don't know.
  Where do you
  think we start?

279
00:15:01,834 --> 00:15:03,300
 Preheat the oven?

280
00:15:03,367 --> 00:15:04,868
 Right you are!

281
00:15:08,334 --> 00:15:10,801
 That's the dishwasher.

282
00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:12,400
 Well, of course it is,
 silly.

283
00:15:12,467 --> 00:15:15,267
  That's just my way of saying,
  "Now stay out of my kitchen."

284
00:15:15,334 --> 00:15:17,534
And you're sure you
don't want me here?

285
00:15:17,601 --> 00:15:20,701
Oh, I've never been so sure
of anything in my life.

286
00:15:24,267 --> 00:15:27,601
   Okay, no problem.
   I can do this.

287
00:15:38,767 --> 00:15:40,133
   Well, I'm stumped.

288
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:45,868
(PHONE RINGING)

289
00:15:46,501 --> 00:15:48,133
  Hello.

290
00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:50,834
  NINA: Maya, thank God
  you're there.
  I really need your help.

291
00:15:50,901 --> 00:15:55,300
 Matthew has asked me to
 prepare a gourmet meal and
 I have no idea what I'm doing.

292
00:15:55,367 --> 00:16:01,267
 Well, I'd love to help you,
 but the only thing I know how
 to cook is crack on a spoon.

293
00:16:01,334 --> 00:16:05,133
Maya, I'm so sorry.
I shouldn't have told him
those things. I'm sorry.

294
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:07,734
  What were you thinking?
  What are you trying
  to pull off here?

295
00:16:07,801 --> 00:16:12,267
   Well, I don't know.
   I just really like this guy.

296
00:16:12,334 --> 00:16:14,067
 But he's not at all your type.

297
00:16:14,133 --> 00:16:17,434
 I know. He's so old-fashioned.

298
00:16:17,501 --> 00:16:20,267
  He hasn't even tried
  to kiss me yet.

299
00:16:20,334 --> 00:16:22,334
 Oh, come on, Maya.
 Just this once.

300
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:24,767
Just for tonight.
I know you think this
whole thing is crazy,

301
00:16:24,834 --> 00:16:26,400
   but just help me
   make this work.

302
00:16:27,834 --> 00:16:29,801
I don't know. Why should I?

303
00:16:29,868 --> 00:16:32,801
  Well, can't you just do it
  because I'm so pathetic?

304
00:16:34,367 --> 00:16:35,567
   Okay.

305
00:16:35,634 --> 00:16:38,734
   Oh, thank you.
   Thank you so much.

306
00:16:38,801 --> 00:16:40,467
 Okay, what have
 we got to work with?

307
00:16:40,534 --> 00:16:44,300
  Okay.
  Well, there's some chicken,
  a bunch of vegetables,

308
00:16:44,367 --> 00:16:47,667
 a lemon, some rice
 and lettuce in a big ball.

309
00:16:49,734 --> 00:16:52,968
 Okay, Nina, first,
 chop the vegetables.

310
00:16:53,033 --> 00:16:55,801
Okay, hang on.
I'm gonna do this.

311
00:16:59,067 --> 00:17:00,234
 Are you still there?

312
00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:02,400
 Don't worry, Nina.
 I'm not going anywhere.

313
00:17:02,467 --> 00:17:03,934
   I'll stay with you
   till the end.

314
00:17:08,300 --> 00:17:10,234
 Okay, Maya, what's next?

315
00:17:11,601 --> 00:17:14,534
 Maya?
 Damn it, Maya, talk to me.

316
00:17:18,367 --> 00:17:20,901
 Oh, God, I'm all alone!

317
00:17:22,767 --> 00:17:24,667
 Nina, is everything...

318
00:17:28,667 --> 00:17:30,234
   Are you smoking?

319
00:17:32,033 --> 00:17:34,200
 See, Matty, it's like this.

320
00:17:35,601 --> 00:17:37,267
 I don't know how to cook.
 I'm not Southern.

321
00:17:37,334 --> 00:17:39,100
  I don't go to church.
  I've never voted.

322
00:17:39,167 --> 00:17:41,334
  I drink like a sailor, often
  in the company of sailors,

323
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:44,968
   and I was peripherally
   involved in the abduction
   of Patty Hearst.

324
00:17:47,601 --> 00:17:50,501
I don't know what to say.

325
00:17:50,567 --> 00:17:52,567
 You've never voted once?

326
00:17:53,701 --> 00:17:55,367
 Look, I'm sorry I lied.

327
00:17:55,434 --> 00:17:58,601
 It's just that I figured
 it was the only way I...

328
00:18:00,534 --> 00:18:02,534
 Oh, never mind.

329
00:18:02,601 --> 00:18:05,501
 Look, I'll just
 get out of your hair.

330
00:18:08,434 --> 00:18:10,000
  Goodbye, Matthew.

331
00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:14,501
  Nina.

332
00:18:15,501 --> 00:18:16,667
   Yeah.

333
00:18:18,767 --> 00:18:20,434
   I want to be bad.

334
00:18:34,033 --> 00:18:35,300
 Come on.
  No.

335
00:18:35,367 --> 00:18:36,534
  Come on.
  No.

336
00:18:36,601 --> 00:18:37,701
  Come on.
No.

337
00:18:37,767 --> 00:18:39,534
Come on.
   No.

338
00:18:39,601 --> 00:18:42,200
 No. I'm gonna
 teach you a lesson
 in humanity,

339
00:18:42,267 --> 00:18:44,567
 what it's like
 to do a good deed.

340
00:18:44,634 --> 00:18:46,367
 Hey, there,
 little fellas.

341
00:18:46,434 --> 00:18:48,234
 Hey, Mr. Leitner.

342
00:18:48,300 --> 00:18:51,367
  You probably don't
  remember, but I used to
  come in here as a kid.

343
00:18:51,434 --> 00:18:54,167
 Well, then I bet
 you'll remember these.

344
00:18:56,834 --> 00:19:00,334
  Oh, great, green.

345
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:02,467
 Actually, there's something
 I want to give you.

346
00:19:02,534 --> 00:19:05,701
 You see, when I was a kid,
 I stopped in here for some
 baseball cards on my way home

347
00:19:05,767 --> 00:19:08,267
  from a music recital
  and I...

348
00:19:08,334 --> 00:19:12,734
 Well, when you weren't
 looking, I stuffed this
 in my trumpet case.

349
00:19:12,801 --> 00:19:14,400
   Pretty silly, huh?

350
00:19:14,467 --> 00:19:17,901
 Oh, kids do dumb things.

351
00:19:17,968 --> 00:19:19,767
 One moment, please.

352
00:19:20,968 --> 00:19:23,767
 Wow, see?
 I feel better already.

353
00:19:25,767 --> 00:19:27,100
Hey, what was
that button for?

354
00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:29,234
 Oh, that summons
 the police.

355
00:19:30,133 --> 00:19:31,501
 How's the
 lollipop?

356
00:19:31,567 --> 00:19:35,567
No, but you don't...
You don't understand.
I'm returning this.

357
00:19:35,634 --> 00:19:37,901
Someone has to
teach you a lesson,

358
00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:40,734
  and I know just the
  dirty cop to do it.

359
00:19:42,601 --> 00:19:44,567
 But I'm doing the right thing.

360
00:19:44,634 --> 00:19:48,300
   When you get to prison,
   be sure to knife the
   first guy you see.

361
00:19:48,367 --> 00:19:52,367
   Now, you'll spend
   two months in the hole,
   but they'll respect you.

362
00:19:54,868 --> 00:19:56,534
   What's happening?

363
00:19:56,601 --> 00:19:59,701
 That's what you're going
 to say when they corner you
 in the laundry.

364
00:20:01,067 --> 00:20:03,367
No, but you don't
understand. I...

365
00:20:03,434 --> 00:20:04,968
(SIREN WAILING)

366
00:20:26,567 --> 00:20:28,801
  How much you want
  for the doll?

367
00:20:29,667 --> 00:20:32,734
  It says here, $6.95.

368
00:20:32,801 --> 00:20:34,567
   I'll give you two bucks
   and a green lollipop.

369
00:20:34,634 --> 00:20:35,767
  Done.

370
00:20:45,501 --> 00:20:47,200
That was incredible.

371
00:20:48,767 --> 00:20:51,767
 You know that last part is
 illegal in some states.

372
00:20:53,300 --> 00:20:54,534
  Maybe I can change that.

373
00:20:54,601 --> 00:20:56,400
Oh, you'd have my vote.

374
00:20:57,834 --> 00:21:00,267
 I think you're gonna
 be good for me, Nina.

375
00:21:00,334 --> 00:21:03,033
 I think maybe I need
 to loosen up a little.

376
00:21:03,100 --> 00:21:04,834
Aw, that's so sweet
of you to say,

377
00:21:04,901 --> 00:21:08,601
  but aren't you afraid
  that I'll hurt your
  political future?

378
00:21:08,667 --> 00:21:12,400
 Heck, no.
 Gosh darn it, hell, no.

379
00:21:12,467 --> 00:21:18,000
 I refuse to believe that
 following my heart could
 ever lead to my downfall.

380
00:21:18,067 --> 00:21:20,601
   Senator Bentley?
   The door...

381
00:21:20,667 --> 00:21:22,133
 Good heavens, man.

382
00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:25,033
   Uh, Judge,

383
00:21:25,100 --> 00:21:27,200
   may I present
   Ms. Nina Van Horn?

384
00:21:27,267 --> 00:21:29,801
  Oh, that's not necessary.
  Hi, Tom.

385
00:21:42,634 --> 00:21:47,200
 * Life keeps bringing me
 back to you

386
00:21:47,267 --> 00:21:50,901
 * Keeps bringing me home

387
00:21:50,968 --> 00:21:55,801
    * It don't matter
    what I wanna do

388
00:21:55,868 --> 00:21:59,300
    * 'Cause it's got
    a mind of its own

389
00:22:00,834 --> 00:22:05,300
 * Life keeps bringing me
 back to you *