1 00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:15,968 Dennis, what's that smell I like? 2 00:00:16,033 --> 00:00:18,234 A meadow after a rainstorm? That's it. 3 00:00:20,133 --> 00:00:22,667 Hey, by the way, Robert Goulet called. 4 00:00:22,734 --> 00:00:24,901 Uh-oh. What? 5 00:00:24,968 --> 00:00:27,400 Dennis, let me offer you a little piece of advice 6 00:00:27,467 --> 00:00:31,734 that'll help you as you travel down the long road of life. 7 00:00:31,801 --> 00:00:34,601 Never buy a racehorse with Robert Goulet. 8 00:00:35,501 --> 00:00:37,267 Thanks for the tip, Yoda. 9 00:00:38,367 --> 00:00:40,701 Stupid horse has his first race today 10 00:00:40,767 --> 00:00:42,901 and he's still acting all crazy. 11 00:00:42,968 --> 00:00:46,267 The trainer couldn't even get him out of the stable. 12 00:00:46,334 --> 00:00:50,400 Sometimes I wonder why we ever bought Tax Dodge in the first place. 13 00:00:53,801 --> 00:00:56,567 Finch, I just got Elliott's birthday present 14 00:00:56,634 --> 00:00:59,133 and I don't mind saying I've really outdone myself. 15 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:01,200 No way. Better than soap? 16 00:01:02,767 --> 00:01:05,133 That wasn't just soap. That was soap of the month. 17 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:08,467 Yeah. Twelve timely reminders that your gifts suck. 18 00:01:10,534 --> 00:01:13,367 Well, he is really going to love this. 19 00:01:13,434 --> 00:01:15,367 I'll be the judge of that. 20 00:01:15,434 --> 00:01:19,968 Well, check it out. A video game system and five cartridges. 21 00:01:20,033 --> 00:01:21,934 Mine! Sorry! 22 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:24,801 Ninja's Whip. 23 00:01:24,868 --> 00:01:26,901 That's right, the hot game. 24 00:01:26,968 --> 00:01:29,067 (IMITATES WHIP SNAPPING) 25 00:01:29,133 --> 00:01:32,000 Video games are kind of my secret passion. 26 00:01:32,067 --> 00:01:35,400 Hmm, sounds like your secret passion is Elliott. 27 00:01:35,467 --> 00:01:36,934 What? He is not. 28 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:40,400 Maya, any gift given to a co-worker over $100 29 00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:45,701 comes with the understanding that the giver wants to "give it" to the givee. 30 00:01:47,267 --> 00:01:51,200 Well, I just got it for him because it's fun. 31 00:01:51,267 --> 00:01:53,801 Hmm, you and fun. 32 00:01:53,868 --> 00:01:56,067 That's not tracking. 33 00:01:56,133 --> 00:01:59,667 Hey, I am not just a straight-laced, uptight schoolmarm. 34 00:01:59,734 --> 00:02:02,467 I have a playful side. I can get wild. 35 00:02:02,534 --> 00:02:04,000 Your top button's open. 36 00:02:04,067 --> 00:02:06,033 Yeah? Well, good. 37 00:02:10,234 --> 00:02:12,501 Remember, the party's at noon sharp. 38 00:02:12,567 --> 00:02:14,901 Oh, shoot. I'm gonna be out on an interview. 39 00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,400 Will you save me a piece of cake? 40 00:02:16,467 --> 00:02:18,200 Piece of cake. Thanks. 41 00:02:18,267 --> 00:02:20,367 No, I'm writing it down. Oh. 42 00:02:21,133 --> 00:02:22,934 Um, and by the way, 43 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,167 would you mind... 44 00:02:25,234 --> 00:02:27,501 Should have never told you I was a gift wrapper at Bloomies. 45 00:02:27,567 --> 00:02:28,567 (BLOWS KISS) 46 00:02:30,667 --> 00:02:35,167 Hey, Finch. Finch, I got Elliott's present. Would you mind... 47 00:02:35,234 --> 00:02:37,701 Oh, yes. What did you get him? 48 00:02:37,767 --> 00:02:39,434 I got a little nutty this year. 49 00:02:39,501 --> 00:02:44,033 (CHUCKLES) So what is it? A T-shirt with a tuxedo on it? 50 00:02:44,100 --> 00:02:46,067 Or maybe... Oh, my God! 51 00:02:48,100 --> 00:02:49,567 What is this stuff? 52 00:02:49,634 --> 00:02:52,634 It's called the "Bachelor's Box of Sexessories." 53 00:02:52,701 --> 00:02:53,834 What do you think? 54 00:02:53,901 --> 00:02:55,868 Mmm, sexcellent! 55 00:02:57,334 --> 00:03:00,534 It's got love oils, naughty videos, latex body parts, 56 00:03:00,601 --> 00:03:03,234 edible everything. 57 00:03:03,300 --> 00:03:06,534 Very classy. Where'd you get all this stuff? 58 00:03:06,601 --> 00:03:09,133 Uh, my uncle owns a porno store. 59 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:10,667 What? 60 00:03:10,734 --> 00:03:12,100 Why didn't you tell me that five years ago? 61 00:03:12,167 --> 00:03:16,334 You could've save me a hundred thousand bucks. 62 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:18,200 Thanks for wrapping it. I'll see you at the party. 63 00:03:18,267 --> 00:03:19,667 Yeah, yeah. 64 00:03:19,734 --> 00:03:22,834 Hey. Switch the cards. 65 00:03:24,968 --> 00:03:27,534 (CHUCKLES) Yeah. It'll be hilarious. 66 00:03:30,834 --> 00:03:33,234 What are you looking for? 67 00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:36,000 Isn't there supposed to be an angel over here? 68 00:03:36,067 --> 00:03:37,634 Are you Dennis Finch? 69 00:03:37,701 --> 00:03:39,133 Yes. Then no! 70 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:40,367 Do it. 71 00:03:41,968 --> 00:03:42,968 (GIGGLES) 72 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,267 (GIGGLING) 73 00:03:47,334 --> 00:03:48,667 Splendid. 74 00:04:00,701 --> 00:04:02,467 Yeah, raise the roof. 75 00:04:04,434 --> 00:04:06,367 Am I late? 76 00:04:06,434 --> 00:04:09,667 Hey, Jack. Aw, thanks for your present. It was so thoughtful. 77 00:04:09,734 --> 00:04:14,634 Well, when I saw it, I said to myself, "Wow, this is Elliott." 78 00:04:15,801 --> 00:04:17,167 What did I get him? 79 00:04:17,234 --> 00:04:19,033 A gift certificate. Oh. 80 00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:22,033 Well, don't spend it all in one place. 81 00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:23,701 Don't I have to? 82 00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:29,400 Hey, open it. Open it. 83 00:04:29,467 --> 00:04:32,234 Oh, what could this be, huh? 84 00:04:32,300 --> 00:04:36,501 Oh, vodka! Thank you, Nina. 85 00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:38,200 Open it, open it. 86 00:04:41,167 --> 00:04:44,267 Jack, you had a message. Your horse kicked your trainer in the head. 87 00:04:44,334 --> 00:04:45,601 Ah, yeah, he'll do that. 88 00:04:45,667 --> 00:04:47,701 Yeah, well, the trainer just quit. 89 00:04:47,767 --> 00:04:50,534 What? He can't quit. 90 00:04:50,601 --> 00:04:53,267 Tax Dodge is racing at 4:00 today. 91 00:04:53,334 --> 00:04:56,234 Oh, well. Hey, Elliott, open Persky's. 92 00:04:56,300 --> 00:04:59,701 "Let's buy a racehorse," Bob Goulet said. 93 00:04:59,767 --> 00:05:03,601 "All champions are high-strung," Bob Goulet said. 94 00:05:03,667 --> 00:05:06,534 Well, come 4:00, I'm putting a saddle on Bob Goulet. 95 00:05:06,601 --> 00:05:08,167 Let him run around the track. 96 00:05:08,234 --> 00:05:10,801 Excuse me, but what about the poor horse? 97 00:05:10,868 --> 00:05:14,200 Huh? Well, what does the horse feel about all this? 98 00:05:14,267 --> 00:05:15,801 Hard to say. 99 00:05:15,868 --> 00:05:18,634 His diary has one of those little locks on the front. 100 00:05:18,701 --> 00:05:22,167 Jack, your delightful sarcasm aside, I grew up around horses, 101 00:05:22,234 --> 00:05:24,534 and they're much more like people than you think. 102 00:05:24,601 --> 00:05:28,100 They get nervous, they feel rejection and they wear shoes. 103 00:05:28,167 --> 00:05:30,801 Now, this is his big day. 104 00:05:30,868 --> 00:05:35,968 You need to sit down and have a heart-to-heart with him. 105 00:05:36,033 --> 00:05:39,734 Dennis, take the contents of Nina's purse down to the lab. 106 00:05:39,801 --> 00:05:41,634 Oh! Oh, so it's me who's crazy. 107 00:05:41,701 --> 00:05:44,701 You're the one who refuses to talk to a horse. 108 00:05:46,534 --> 00:05:49,501 That's good stuff. Okay, let's keep the party moving. 109 00:05:49,567 --> 00:05:50,567 This one's from Persky. 110 00:05:50,634 --> 00:05:52,434 All right. 111 00:05:52,501 --> 00:05:56,033 "Hey, Elliott, have fun, wild man." All right. 112 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:01,501 (BOTH EXCLAIMING) 113 00:06:01,567 --> 00:06:04,067 A new video game. Oh, this is great. 114 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:09,601 Okay. Now open Maya's. 115 00:06:17,033 --> 00:06:20,734 "Bet you didn't expect something like this from me. Love, Maya." 116 00:06:20,801 --> 00:06:22,400 Mmm, mysterious. 117 00:06:31,467 --> 00:06:32,934 What'd she get you? Uh, nothing. 118 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:35,767 (STAMMERING) Socks. Just some socks. 119 00:06:35,834 --> 00:06:39,300 Socks? Cool. What kind? 120 00:06:39,367 --> 00:06:41,901 Tube socks. Just plain old tube socks. 121 00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:44,100 Tube socks. I love it! Stripes? 122 00:06:44,167 --> 00:06:45,868 Sure, whatever. 123 00:06:45,934 --> 00:06:48,334 Hey, do they have that extra padding in the heel? 124 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:50,734 Just back off, Jack. They're just stupid socks! 125 00:06:52,767 --> 00:06:55,100 Make a note. Elliott hates socks. 126 00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:01,934 Hey, hey, where's the party? 127 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,234 Huh? What? Oh, it just ended. 128 00:07:04,300 --> 00:07:07,501 Oh, rats. I thought Finch told me 1:00. 129 00:07:07,567 --> 00:07:09,133 So, what'd you think of my gift? 130 00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:12,767 Oh. Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm sorry, Persky. 131 00:07:12,834 --> 00:07:14,834 Oh, it was great. I was floored. 132 00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:16,133 I thought you'd get a kick out of it. 133 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:17,901 Yeah. Oh, I can't wait to use it. 134 00:07:17,968 --> 00:07:19,801 All right! Well, I want to hear all the details. 135 00:07:19,868 --> 00:07:21,100 Better yet, why don't you come over 136 00:07:21,167 --> 00:07:24,000 and we could take it for a little test drive, huh? 137 00:07:24,634 --> 00:07:25,701 What? 138 00:07:25,767 --> 00:07:27,767 Yeah. Maybe this weekend. 139 00:07:27,834 --> 00:07:29,367 You mean with some girls, right? 140 00:07:29,434 --> 00:07:31,067 Of course not. 141 00:07:31,133 --> 00:07:33,968 I mean, who wants a couple of girls watching us go at it, right? 142 00:07:36,234 --> 00:07:40,167 Just you and me, and a little Mine Shaft Expedition, huh? 143 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:44,667 (STAMMERING) I think you should know, I have a fiancee. 144 00:07:44,734 --> 00:07:47,100 Hey. Hey, you know, I don't want to tell you how to live your life, 145 00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:51,033 but you don't want to marry somebody who won't let you have a little guy fun. 146 00:07:58,367 --> 00:08:00,334 What are you doing? 147 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:02,901 Sorting Jack's M&M's. 148 00:08:02,968 --> 00:08:05,834 He doesn't like the blue ones. He says they're unnatural. 149 00:08:06,701 --> 00:08:08,567 (PHONE RINGING) 150 00:08:09,601 --> 00:08:11,300 Jack Gallo's office. 151 00:08:11,367 --> 00:08:13,534 JACK ON INTERCOM: Dennis, it's me. 152 00:08:13,601 --> 00:08:14,868 Hey, Jack. What's wrong? 153 00:08:14,934 --> 00:08:16,968 I'll tell you what's wrong. 154 00:08:17,033 --> 00:08:20,067 My horse has gone completely psycho. 155 00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:21,567 Did you try saying "whoa"? 156 00:08:21,634 --> 00:08:22,901 (HORSE NEIGHING) 157 00:08:23,501 --> 00:08:25,167 (HORSE STOMPING) 158 00:08:25,234 --> 00:08:26,334 Whoa. 159 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:27,767 (HORSE NEIGHING) 160 00:08:29,133 --> 00:08:31,767 Negative on the "whoa." 161 00:08:31,834 --> 00:08:34,968 Where the hell's that crazy horse-freak, Nina? 162 00:08:35,033 --> 00:08:36,734 She's right here, Jack. 163 00:08:36,801 --> 00:08:38,934 Oh, hi, sweetheart. 164 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,467 Hey, if you're not doing anything, 165 00:08:41,534 --> 00:08:44,868 maybe you can come down and take a look at Tax Dodge. 166 00:08:44,934 --> 00:08:46,734 He's dying to meet his Auntie Nina. 167 00:08:46,801 --> 00:08:50,734 Oh, don't you "Auntie Nina" me. Admit it, you need me. 168 00:08:50,801 --> 00:08:52,868 Fine, I admit it. NINA: Admit it! 169 00:08:52,934 --> 00:08:55,634 I just did. 170 00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:59,167 I know, maybe if I just brush him a little, it'll... 171 00:08:59,234 --> 00:09:00,334 (JACK EXCLAIMING) 172 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,133 (DIAL TONE DRONING) 173 00:09:03,567 --> 00:09:05,834 Okay. Jack's dead. I'm in charge now. 174 00:09:06,901 --> 00:09:09,000 Finch, I'm going. 175 00:09:09,067 --> 00:09:11,300 There's a horse out there who needs me. 176 00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:14,400 Okay, you do that, 177 00:09:14,467 --> 00:09:17,701 but the rest of you keep doing what you're doing. 178 00:09:30,567 --> 00:09:31,601 Hey, Elliott. 179 00:09:31,667 --> 00:09:33,300 Maya, what were you thinking? 180 00:09:33,367 --> 00:09:35,601 I almost opened your present in front of your father. 181 00:09:35,667 --> 00:09:36,968 So? 182 00:09:37,033 --> 00:09:39,167 I mean, it could have been really embarrassing. 183 00:09:39,234 --> 00:09:41,667 Why would he be embarrassed? He loves that stuff. 184 00:09:41,734 --> 00:09:42,868 What? 185 00:09:42,934 --> 00:09:45,300 He may be old, but he's not dead. 186 00:09:46,133 --> 00:09:48,567 Oh, ha, ha, ha. 187 00:09:48,634 --> 00:09:50,501 What? 188 00:09:50,567 --> 00:09:52,901 All right, you got me. All right, I am officially shocked. 189 00:09:52,968 --> 00:09:54,300 Okay? 190 00:09:54,367 --> 00:09:56,534 Elliott, there is part of my life that you don't know about. 191 00:09:56,601 --> 00:10:00,567 I like to have fun. I'm not a straight-laced, uptight schoolmarm. 192 00:10:02,267 --> 00:10:04,133 You're saying you're into this stuff? 193 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:07,734 Well, I don't go around announcing it, but it's sort of a 194 00:10:07,801 --> 00:10:10,767 guilty pleasure. 195 00:10:10,834 --> 00:10:13,200 I'll tell you what. Why don't you come over tonight? 196 00:10:13,267 --> 00:10:16,200 I'll cook you dinner and I'll take you on. 197 00:10:16,267 --> 00:10:18,601 What? 198 00:10:18,667 --> 00:10:20,834 It's your birthday. Let's get wild! 199 00:10:22,467 --> 00:10:24,334 Let me... Let me get this straight. 200 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:28,367 You want me to bring the little bag of fun over tonight so we can... 201 00:10:28,434 --> 00:10:29,534 Play. 202 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:32,033 Unless you're busy. 203 00:10:32,100 --> 00:10:33,133 No. 204 00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,801 Great. I'll see you at 8:00. 205 00:10:36,868 --> 00:10:38,234 Oh, and Elliott. 206 00:10:38,300 --> 00:10:39,467 Yeah? 207 00:10:39,534 --> 00:10:41,067 Your ass is mine. 208 00:10:41,133 --> 00:10:42,434 (IMITATES WHIP SNAPPING) 209 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,133 Wasn't that fun? 210 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:49,367 Yes. 211 00:10:49,434 --> 00:10:51,167 Excellent work. 212 00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:52,634 Now kill them all. 213 00:10:57,300 --> 00:10:58,834 What are you talking about? 214 00:10:58,901 --> 00:11:01,634 Sorry. Sorry. Baby steps. 215 00:11:14,534 --> 00:11:15,901 Good horse! 216 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:18,167 Nice horse! 217 00:11:18,234 --> 00:11:19,834 (HORSE NEIGHING) 218 00:11:20,434 --> 00:11:22,133 Jack. 219 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:24,033 Oh, you're here. Don't go near that horse. He's dangerous. 220 00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:27,267 No, no, Jack. It's okay. There's something I never told you. 221 00:11:27,334 --> 00:11:28,567 I find that hard to believe. 222 00:11:28,634 --> 00:11:30,801 Well, there is. 223 00:11:30,868 --> 00:11:35,100 Back on the farm I discovered at an early age that I had a gift. 224 00:11:35,167 --> 00:11:39,000 I'm what they call a horse calmer-downer. 225 00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:42,133 Oh. 226 00:11:42,634 --> 00:11:43,734 What? 227 00:11:43,801 --> 00:11:45,534 When the storm clouds came rolling in, 228 00:11:45,601 --> 00:11:47,801 and the thunder clapped its mighty roar, 229 00:11:47,868 --> 00:11:51,367 I would run out to the stables and calm the horses down. 230 00:11:51,434 --> 00:11:53,701 Hence the name. 231 00:11:53,767 --> 00:11:57,667 Well, there's a horse who's gonna race in two hours. Do what you can. 232 00:11:57,734 --> 00:12:01,634 Well, I will. But we're dealing with a sensitive, skittish creature. 233 00:12:01,701 --> 00:12:04,300 Would a horse tranquilizer help? 234 00:12:04,367 --> 00:12:06,968 It might, but I need to focus. 235 00:12:07,033 --> 00:12:08,901 Just give me some room. 236 00:12:21,267 --> 00:12:22,801 (SPUTTERS) 237 00:12:31,033 --> 00:12:33,634 I understand. I'm here. 238 00:12:33,701 --> 00:12:34,801 What are you doing? 239 00:12:34,868 --> 00:12:36,033 (SHUSHING) 240 00:12:38,167 --> 00:12:41,567 I want you to go to that painful place. 241 00:12:41,634 --> 00:12:44,033 I want you to take me there. 242 00:12:44,100 --> 00:12:47,200 I know, I know, I know, I know. I'm scared, too. 243 00:12:48,334 --> 00:12:52,534 Go back. Go back and remember. 244 00:12:53,934 --> 00:12:57,400 Your practice times stink and that's bad. 245 00:12:57,467 --> 00:12:59,701 I mean, you keep this up, you'll amount to nothing. 246 00:12:59,767 --> 00:13:01,801 I sometimes wish I had never bought you. 247 00:13:01,868 --> 00:13:04,601 I'm sorry for saying that, but it's the truth, because you're bad. 248 00:13:04,667 --> 00:13:08,167 You're a bad, bad, bad, stupid, bad horse. 249 00:13:09,834 --> 00:13:13,601 It's not your fault. It's not your fault. Not your fault. 250 00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:16,434 (WHISPERING) No. No. It's not your fault. 251 00:13:16,501 --> 00:13:18,834 Not your fault. It's okay. 252 00:13:21,267 --> 00:13:24,200 Well, Jack, your precious race is on. 253 00:13:25,467 --> 00:13:27,000 How do you know? 254 00:13:27,067 --> 00:13:28,934 He spoke to me. 255 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,701 Well, if he told you I ate one of his apples, he's a liar. 256 00:13:36,467 --> 00:13:38,067 Good night, Elliott. Hope you like your sex. 257 00:13:38,133 --> 00:13:40,200 What? 258 00:13:40,267 --> 00:13:42,701 Hope you like your socks. What's wrong with you? 259 00:13:44,667 --> 00:13:47,367 Hey, can I talk to you for a second? 260 00:13:47,434 --> 00:13:49,100 Shoot. 261 00:13:49,167 --> 00:13:52,300 Take a look at what Maya gave me for my birthday. 262 00:13:54,934 --> 00:13:57,467 Oh, my God. Is this some sort of gag? 263 00:13:57,534 --> 00:13:58,834 No, she says it's for real. 264 00:13:58,901 --> 00:14:01,968 No, this leather thing. Is it some sort of gag? 265 00:14:04,367 --> 00:14:08,200 Do you believe this? From Maya? 266 00:14:08,267 --> 00:14:10,901 You know what, though, I always sensed that she had a wild side. 267 00:14:10,968 --> 00:14:12,234 That's what she said. 268 00:14:12,300 --> 00:14:13,434 She said that? Yeah. 269 00:14:13,501 --> 00:14:15,133 Wow. 270 00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:16,434 That is scary. 271 00:14:16,501 --> 00:14:17,801 It is? 272 00:14:17,868 --> 00:14:20,033 No, that thing with the pump. 273 00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:24,300 Here's the weirdest part. 274 00:14:24,367 --> 00:14:28,200 She invited me over tonight and she said to bring this stuff with me. 275 00:14:28,267 --> 00:14:29,734 Come on. You're messing with me. 276 00:14:29,801 --> 00:14:31,534 I'm dead serious. Well, then, my God, you're in. 277 00:14:31,601 --> 00:14:33,167 I don't know what to do. 278 00:14:33,234 --> 00:14:35,300 I mean, I've been friends with her for two years. 279 00:14:35,367 --> 00:14:37,501 She's my longest-lasting female relationship 280 00:14:37,567 --> 00:14:40,501 and I think that's because we haven't screwed it up with sex. 281 00:14:40,567 --> 00:14:43,033 You want my advice? Yes, I want to know what you think. 282 00:14:43,100 --> 00:14:45,567 Life is short. Grab the brass ring. 283 00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:51,133 Or in this case, that stainless steel number. 284 00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:55,767 Yeah, maybe you're right. 285 00:14:55,834 --> 00:14:58,334 Good luck. All right. 286 00:14:58,400 --> 00:14:59,501 Hey, Persky. What's up? 287 00:14:59,567 --> 00:15:01,968 Stop pressuring me. I'm thinking about it! 288 00:15:08,934 --> 00:15:11,501 He was always such a nice horse. 289 00:15:11,567 --> 00:15:12,801 I don't know what got into him. 290 00:15:12,868 --> 00:15:14,634 Liar! What's that? 291 00:15:14,701 --> 00:15:18,434 The important thing is that Nina here has worked her voodoo. 292 00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:21,334 Oh, I'm just a simple horse calmer-downer. 293 00:15:22,701 --> 00:15:24,467 That animal has a good heart. 294 00:15:24,534 --> 00:15:27,968 Which is more than I can say for a certain singing icon. 295 00:15:28,033 --> 00:15:31,067 Nina, it seems to me that I have somehow insulted you. 296 00:15:31,133 --> 00:15:34,167 Perhaps I can rectify that with a little song. 297 00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:36,601 * Magic time 298 00:15:36,667 --> 00:15:38,467 (FANFARE) 299 00:15:38,534 --> 00:15:41,334 Well, looks like I owe you one, little lady. 300 00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,100 I'm not the one you owe. 301 00:15:43,167 --> 00:15:44,200 (STARTING BELL RINGS) 302 00:15:44,267 --> 00:15:45,901 COMMENTATOR: And away they go. 303 00:15:45,968 --> 00:15:49,701 Danny's Addiction on the rail, neck and neck with Hikeeba and Tax Dodge. 304 00:15:49,767 --> 00:15:54,801 Hikeeba now pulls ahead. It's Hikeeba neck and neck with Tax Dodge. 305 00:15:54,868 --> 00:15:58,167 And Tax Dodge now making his move on the outside. 306 00:15:58,234 --> 00:16:00,801 And Tax Dodge overtakes Danny's Addiction. 307 00:16:00,868 --> 00:16:02,400 Yes! Tax Dodge! 308 00:16:02,467 --> 00:16:04,868 Tax Dodge neck and neck with Hikeeba. 309 00:16:04,934 --> 00:16:06,334 Go, Tax Dodge! 310 00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:08,334 Nina, you're a genius! 311 00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:10,567 Oh, I forgot I have binoculars. 312 00:16:10,634 --> 00:16:11,801 Come on, baby. 313 00:16:11,868 --> 00:16:13,133 And Tax Dodge takes the lead. Come on, baby. 314 00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:15,434 Tax Dodge pulling away by a length. 315 00:16:15,501 --> 00:16:18,167 Wait a second. This isn't my purse. 316 00:16:18,234 --> 00:16:21,968 COMMENTATOR: Heading into the home stretch. And now it's Tax Dodge by two lengths, 317 00:16:22,033 --> 00:16:24,100 followed by Danny's Addiction and Hikeeba. Oh, my God. 318 00:16:24,167 --> 00:16:26,267 He's doing it. And coming to the wire. 319 00:16:26,334 --> 00:16:28,300 And it's Tax Dodge. NINA: Yeah! 320 00:16:28,367 --> 00:16:31,167 Yes! Tax Dodge wins it by four lengths! 321 00:16:31,234 --> 00:16:33,067 Nina, you did it! 322 00:16:33,767 --> 00:16:35,167 Whoa! 323 00:16:35,234 --> 00:16:36,801 COMMENTATOR: And he's still running! 324 00:16:36,868 --> 00:16:38,434 What the hell? 325 00:16:38,501 --> 00:16:40,133 He's running faster. 326 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:41,934 COMMENTATOR: The jockey can't seem to pull him up. 327 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:45,133 Oh, my God. He's running on two legs! 328 00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:48,501 Has he done this before? 329 00:16:48,567 --> 00:16:50,200 Not that I can remember. 330 00:16:50,267 --> 00:16:53,734 COMMENTATOR: Holy cow, Tax Dodge has jumped the rail 331 00:16:53,801 --> 00:16:57,367 and Tax Dodge is going berserk. He's in the beer garden. 332 00:17:01,167 --> 00:17:03,968 We might want to cash these in real quick. 333 00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:16,934 How's the chicken? Good? Good. Good. 334 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:20,934 ELLIOTT: Look at her. I can't believe how calm she is. 335 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,634 More wine? Oh, no, thanks. 336 00:17:23,701 --> 00:17:26,467 What's the matter? Afraid it'll affect your performance? 337 00:17:28,601 --> 00:17:30,200 Of course not. 338 00:17:30,267 --> 00:17:33,968 How does she know that about me? 339 00:17:34,033 --> 00:17:39,501 Good, because I am gonna spank you and I don't want to hear any excuses. 340 00:17:39,567 --> 00:17:42,601 Oh, I should have let someone know where I am. 341 00:17:43,868 --> 00:17:45,868 What's wrong? You seem nervous. 342 00:17:45,934 --> 00:17:47,167 Me? No. 343 00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:50,968 Oh, I think I know what's going on here. 344 00:17:51,033 --> 00:17:53,601 You're afraid of being beaten by a woman. 345 00:17:53,667 --> 00:17:55,167 Well, a little. 346 00:17:55,234 --> 00:17:58,267 Don't worry. I'll go easy on you. I might even let you win. 347 00:17:58,334 --> 00:18:00,701 What? There'll be a winner? 348 00:18:00,767 --> 00:18:02,868 Yeah, I thought we'd go best out of seven. 349 00:18:02,934 --> 00:18:04,200 Seven? 350 00:18:04,267 --> 00:18:07,400 I have to warn you. I can get pretty loud. 351 00:18:07,467 --> 00:18:09,367 My God, Maya's a freak. 352 00:18:10,834 --> 00:18:12,234 Tell you what. I'll be right back. 353 00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:13,467 Why don't you set everything up? 354 00:18:13,534 --> 00:18:15,267 Well, where you going? 355 00:18:15,334 --> 00:18:17,701 Well, I have to get a pillow to sit on, otherwise my butt falls asleep. 356 00:18:19,934 --> 00:18:23,200 Her butt falls asleep? How does she want to do this? 357 00:18:26,434 --> 00:18:30,434 Okay, I just have to forget everything I ever thought about Maya. 358 00:18:30,501 --> 00:18:32,601 Even though this is not the way I would want it, 359 00:18:32,667 --> 00:18:36,334 I'm just gonna make her happy and go with the flow. 360 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:39,434 MAYA: Hey, Elliott, ever play Torture Chamber? 361 00:18:39,501 --> 00:18:41,634 Say yes. You'll sound cool. 362 00:18:42,601 --> 00:18:44,000 Yes! 363 00:18:44,067 --> 00:18:46,534 MAYA: Oh, man, I love video games! 364 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:48,334 What's that? 365 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:50,267 I love video games. 366 00:18:50,334 --> 00:18:53,434 If they weren't so addictive, I would have gotten one for myself. 367 00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:00,367 Anyway, prepare for humiliation! 368 00:19:01,434 --> 00:19:02,968 Halfway there. 369 00:19:09,434 --> 00:19:11,367 What are you doing? Nothing's set up. 370 00:19:11,434 --> 00:19:13,400 Oh, I have a headache. I'm gonna go home. 371 00:19:13,467 --> 00:19:15,501 Oh, no, don't leave. Take an aspirin. I'll set up. 372 00:19:15,567 --> 00:19:17,701 No! I probably should go to the hospital. 373 00:19:24,968 --> 00:19:25,934 Finch, what are you doing? 374 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:27,033 (YELLS) 375 00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:29,200 You're behind this, aren't you? 376 00:19:29,267 --> 00:19:32,133 I don't know what you're talking about. Look in the bag. 377 00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:33,634 What's going on? Look in the bag. 378 00:19:33,701 --> 00:19:35,868 What's in the bag? Oh, fine. 379 00:19:35,934 --> 00:19:37,501 Finch obviously switched your gift. 380 00:19:37,567 --> 00:19:39,701 You thought you gave me a video game. 381 00:19:39,767 --> 00:19:41,501 Well, I thought you gave me this. 382 00:19:41,567 --> 00:19:42,767 (YELLS) 383 00:19:43,767 --> 00:19:45,801 That better be a thermos. 384 00:19:48,300 --> 00:19:50,033 Do you believe this guy? 385 00:19:50,100 --> 00:19:54,067 You came over here tonight thinking we were gonna have a bagful of sex? 386 00:19:54,133 --> 00:19:55,701 (SQUEALING) 387 00:19:55,767 --> 00:19:59,133 Sometimes I wonder why I do these things. This is why! 388 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:03,434 Finch, leave now! 389 00:20:03,501 --> 00:20:04,701 Fine. 390 00:20:04,767 --> 00:20:06,634 I liked it better in the hall anyway. 391 00:20:06,701 --> 00:20:08,634 Your neighbors are actually having sex. 392 00:20:13,701 --> 00:20:15,434 (CLEARS THROAT) Well, this is awkward. 393 00:20:15,501 --> 00:20:18,067 Yeah, I'd say. 394 00:20:18,133 --> 00:20:19,667 How could you... I thought it was what you wanted. 395 00:20:19,734 --> 00:20:21,267 Is it what you wanted? I don't know. 396 00:20:21,334 --> 00:20:22,834 What? You have no opinion on the subject? 397 00:20:22,901 --> 00:20:27,367 Well, I... I'm kind of relieved you're not into this stuff. 398 00:20:27,434 --> 00:20:29,601 You're not, right? 399 00:20:29,667 --> 00:20:33,634 No. I've always considered myself a romantic. 400 00:20:33,701 --> 00:20:37,934 I think you should love someone before you beat and humiliate them. 401 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:42,767 Yeah, me, too. I mean, I... I generally like things to be gentle and prop-free. 402 00:20:44,033 --> 00:20:46,567 Just the two people. 403 00:20:46,634 --> 00:20:49,067 I mean, you know, whoever they are. 404 00:20:51,133 --> 00:20:55,634 Well, thanks again for dinner and for the real present. Thank you. 405 00:20:55,701 --> 00:20:57,434 It doesn't seem so wild now. 406 00:20:57,501 --> 00:21:00,267 No, it was great. Exactly what I wanted. Thanks. 407 00:21:01,033 --> 00:21:02,100 Hey, 408 00:21:03,300 --> 00:21:05,334 you don't want to keep these, do you? 409 00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:07,200 No, thanks. You can keep 'em. 410 00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:10,100 ELLIOTT: Oh, man, she thinks I'm a pig. 411 00:21:10,167 --> 00:21:13,334 MAYA: God, I smell so good. Why doesn't he just kiss me? 412 00:21:15,501 --> 00:21:17,133 Well, good night. 413 00:21:18,300 --> 00:21:19,667 Good night. 414 00:21:25,167 --> 00:21:28,834 What? I'm waiting to share a cab with my friend. 415 00:21:28,901 --> 00:21:31,167 Just grab the sex toys and run! 416 00:21:43,767 --> 00:21:47,067 My fiancee and I have decided to put off the wedding. 417 00:21:51,133 --> 00:21:54,200 What? We agreed I should get this out of my system 418 00:21:54,267 --> 00:21:58,601 or I'll never be happy. So I'll see you tonight.